X-Men: The (fan fic) Series

Time travel gives me a headache too.

I really wish comics would stop using it as a device, especially on top of each other. Right now this is turning into a really bad rendition of Back to the Future.

I suppose we’re supposed to care about young!Xavier and Raze in a ‘they are the villain with semi-tragic backstories’ and yeah I don’t care.

The thing is, I should care, this should be an interesting story now that we’re finally out of the really bad wet-dream fan fiction that Bendis was writing, but the whole story with these two brothers is not only stupid,  it’s just not engaging. It’s like Bendis is trying to be outside the box but… yeah… no… he just sat them in a different box.

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Wait, did I read that right?

The Charles Xavier II is actually Professor X’s and Mystique’s kid?!

I hope this is not how it seems… otherwise… go home Bendis, you’re drunk.

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I’ve read fan fiction better than this.

The gang has returned from space and we’re treated to a really awkward moment of Jean hitting on older Scott. Really? Do you want to make it even more obvious that you have some questionable fetish for Jean and that this story is basically a Scott fan fic?

And while you’re at it, Laura leaves because Scott left. Really? Did Bendis even at least skim through Liu’s run on X-23?

Obviously not.

The level of sexist commentary in this title and Uncanny just keeps getting bigger and worse as time goes on. Jean and now X-23 only seem to exist as objects of affection for the male characters, one of which is way to freaking old for her. Not to mention Kitty seems to only be there to react to situations rather than to be a part of the story.

Bendis, you’re a good writer, but you need to start writing stories, not your own personal fan fiction.

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Man, the Watcher is a bit of a dick, isn’t he?

This issue is just a filler and excuse to slap on some ‘monumental’ ‘buy this issue’ ’cause reasons’ fodder to hike sales. It has nearly nothing to do with any of the actual plot other than to say that Hank is having misgivings for mucking up the time stream. File this under crap we already know.

Still, some of the art is pretty awesome, and the random ‘fan fiction esque’ stories thrown in there were pretty hilarious.

But otherwise this is just another waste of filler space as there are so many maybe’s and possibilities that we don’t even know if anything that is said even matters. It could literally all be the product of the Watcher being, well, a dick and messing with Hank.

Meh.

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I think we should just change this title to “Jean Grey: Fickle Red-Head”.

Yet again, Jean Grey is doing an about face from what was previously established only a couple of issues ago, and as a cliffhanger of course. This time she’s decided she’s actually guilty of mass murder and is indeed a monster.

I understand that she’s a teenager/young adult and that individuals are allowed to change their mind whether it be from learning experiences or fickle moments, but in this title Jean Grey has had more than her fair share of them and I don’t know if it’s because Bendis is trying to make her a ‘stereotypical teenage girl’ or he’s trying to show that Jean obvious has some mental health issues. Either way… it’s not being treated the way it should be.

The more and more I read this title… the more and more I feel like Bendis is just writing his own personal fan fiction with Scott as his self-insert and Jean his ideal woman… and this is a bad bad thing…

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They should just call this title X-Men: Resurrection.

First the original X-Men come to the future which means Jean and original!Angel are basically resurrected. Then Christopher Summers is all ‘surprise, I ain’t dead either’ just in time to meet up with the young version of his son. Who’s going to be resurrected next? I hear Maddy is coming back too ala the X-Men title. Poor Scott, he can’t win for loosing.

As for Jean, it’s about time she realized she’s being a brat and her temper isn’t going to do her any favors. I hate Bendis is making her a brat though, but I can kinda see where it comes from. After all, considering everything that will happen to her, I can see a teenager not coping all that well. But at the same time Bendis makes it very petty with her constant flip-flopping over Scott which makes this all a bad after-school special.

So far though, Space has been fun, if it doesn’t turn super angsty later…

Can we just have more of Bobby and Rocket? Cause that stuff is hilarious!

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Did we just have twenty pages of tropetastic teenage drama followed by punching and Jean getting kidnapped just to set up yet another Jean Grey-centric cross over after the last one literally just ended?

Yeah, pretty sure that’s what we got.

I can’t even work up the effort to properly review this issue except to say poor Angel, I feel ya man, I fee ya.

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Another great issue ruined by ‘teenage drama’.

Seriously, can we just make the Jean/Scott ‘angst’ illegal unless you’re going to actually do something with it other than create needless rejected scenes from an 80s movie? Bendis has been pretty bad milking this whole thing. ‘Who will Jean choose?’ ‘Oh, a contender for Scott’s affections!’ It’s borderline sexist on a good day. I know the Scott/Jean relationship is one of those ‘epic comic book romances’ but it’s not the 80s anymore, we’ve all moved on. Quit trying to re-live your boy fantasies and wasting space.

That being said, the rest of the issue is pretty awesome. We get a little history lesson about William Styker and his relationship with A.I.M., then the religious zealots are waylaid by science, and none of it is majorly overdone. These guys are smart enough to realize that killing time travelers from the past can be a majorly bad idea. They are also smart enough to know they need to find someone smarter than them to figure this out. I love it when the bad guy is realistic about their situation.

Unfortunately, that just gave the X-Men time to wake up and escape. But realistically, it’s a better fate than unraveling the space/time continuum… maybe.

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Mutants are analogues, this has always been true.

The X-Men are also no strangers to religious intolerance, it’s the unfortunate reality of human nature. So it’s no real surprise that the X-Men are once again coming up against religious zealots who believe it is god’s will to destroy all mutants. The parallels to modern minorities is obvious here but not overbearing and I will never deny a comic’s attempt at social commentary as long as it’s done well or at least tastefully.

However, all we get here is very little, few comments from Angel, and it’s mostly just an excuse for people to punch each other and chase after X-23. I got nothing against some beat ’em ups too, but I hate it when potential is teased then just ignored.

Otherwise, this feels like a filler episode, just something to get us to the big X-23 reveal…

Somehow I feel this can’t end well…

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