X-Men: The (fan fic) Series

Well, that was pointless.

Rick Remember has been described as a ‘shock jock’ writer. Basically, he jumps out with a whole bunch of ‘shocking moments’ where people are killed or put into other high stress moments just for the shock value alone. Of the three (maybe four) people who likely died in this issue, it’s a toss up as to how many will actually be dead which makes all these deaths pointless. The ones who live are obviously not dead, yawn+cop-out. And the one (ones) who actually die will have their deaths marginalized by the sure scope of the moment. It’s so freaking annoying because Remender doing this wastes so much time and panel space when he could be doing proper character and plot development which could be then used to create truly emotionally satisfying moments.

Basically these shock deaths are a cheap trick and sign of a crappy writer… but it’s eaten up by this new generation of fanboys (and fangirls) who seem to think that death=real and real=good. In reality, a well-written-death=good, and just killing people off for the shock value is almost never a well-written-death.

Then you have everything else in this issue, the total mis-characterization of Rogue continues. Wolverine’s seemingly ‘about face’ regarding Wanda in a ‘I said she had to be stopped but duh I didn’t mean kill her’. Seriously Wolvie? And Sunfire is continued to just be window dressing. Still not sure about Wanda’s relationship with Wonder Man in regards to her previously established relationship with Cap.

I’ve actually cancelled my subscription to this title, but I’ll likely pick up a few extra to see how this arc ends. I’ve never actually cancelled a subscription to any title, I almost always just ride them out, but I felt that I needed to do this because this title is just rife with the worst possible problems of everything from bad writing to sexism. I’ll pick up the next few issues to finish the arc and then that’s it. I don’t think Remender can do anything at this point to win back my subscription (not that my subscriptions matters to anyone but me but it makes me feel better).

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As much as I’m not caring for this title, deaf Captain America is pretty hilarious.

It’s also good to see that Wanda has a plan, I would have been seriously disappointed in Remender (moreso than usual) if he continued on and just had her mindlessly follow the twins. Of course, Wolverine doesn’t have nearly as much faith in her as we do because the second the twins told him Wanda had switched sides he’s all “well, guess gotta try to kill her, again”. Wait, maybe that isn’t actually out of character…

I also want to know what Wanda’s relationship is with Cap because there was something going on there not too long ago. Are they actually dating, did they agree not to be exclusive? What?.  Because now she’s taking Wonder Man to bed? I’m all for the girl enjoying herself with whatever guy she wants but if she’s in a relationship with Cap then why is she sleeping with the guy who has an insanely deep crush on her where she doesn’t return his feelings because she quote ‘thinks of him like a brother’? Awkward much?

And that’s just the tip of what bothers me about this issue, including the unfortunate characterization of Janet and the constant rambling of the writing.

But I really don’t care enough to care to complain anymore…

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For once, Remender is scarily close to correctly characterizing a character… but it’s still full of fails.

Is it just me, or is Wanda sounding a lot like dear old dad here? The whole ‘take all the mutants to Jupiter to live in a mutant-only world’ reminds me of Asteroid M. She also seems to have been convinced that humans and mutants will never get along. This whole situation is very much a Magneto thing and Wanda has, in the past, done some insane things in the name of just making everyone stop fighting…

But here’s the thing. Wanda knows that not all humans are bad, she is friends with some very human Avengers, for good or bad. And the whole “House of M” thing wasn’t exactly her idea. She was in a vulnerable state and her brother gave her the idea. When everyone was coming to kill her, she latched onto the idea and gave it form, even turning herself ‘human’ in House of M to highlight just how much less-than-worth-loathing Wanda had stored up. House of M failed, No More Mutants wasn’t any better, but both times she was just trying to do something, anything, to stop the fighting, and the pain.

So yeah, in some respect you can see her latching onto the Jupiter thing in the same vein… but I think Wanda would have learned from everything that happened during House of M, plus being an Avenger in general, that a) you have to treat the cause of the human/mutant divide, not the symptoms, and b) never, ever, ever trust the bad guy, doesn’t matter what they are saying.

At the moment, Wanda seems to be walking back through the same old loop without any real character advancement. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again but expecting different results. That is Wanda right now. And she very much deserves way more than this.

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This issue isn’t quite as annoying as previous ones… but that’s not saying much.

Remender still likes to hear himself talk, though the massive blocks of text are shaved back some… some. Rogue actually has a moment where she acts like herself, and surprise, she has her hood off when it happens. I’m pretty sure her hoodie is possessed by something… and we definitely need a cross over with the Winchesters. Then at one point Remender flirts with meaningful depth when he points out the hypocrisy of the media and how it just moves on from each travesty as soon as they can in search of the next big thing for a ratings boost.

But Wanda continues to be all over the place, now she’s all depressed and ‘we’re all doomed’. This doesn’t really track with how she was during AvX, and is very much a “so some bad stuff has happened recently, I guess I’ll just give up”. Maybe this is to echo the reader? Cause I’m about to be all depressed and ‘doomed’ from reading this schlock.

Oh, and Banshee, Sentry, Grim Reaper and Daken came back and kidnapped people for unknown purposes… so that happened…

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So, that happened. Remender ended the previous issue with a bang, literally, then just skips ahead to ‘oh, yeah, we’re good’ and spends the whole issue arguing. Literally, it is nothing but people talking and arguing over the different issues that they face, and not in a decent way either.

The whole M-Word thing, while Bendis wrote is as a civilized discussion, Remender just has Wanda and Rogue bitching each other out. Is this Remender lashing out at his critics?

Everyone is ‘so surprised’ that Logan killed someone. Huh? What part of his catch phrase did they not understand?

It’s all just crappy filler until the big reveal which was spoiled ages ago: The Four Horsemen of the Death. So, yeah, no surprises or, anything, really. 

It’s like Remender doesn’t understand how comic books work…

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So there was some talking… some explosions… more talking… a fight… more talking… and oh, talking… lots and lots of talking… but mostly by the writer instead of actual dialogue…

Not to get caught up in the old debate of ‘comics are just fancy picture books’ but there is something to be said about the fact that a comic book can be too wordy. It is especially true for action sequences. Someone, anyone, please tell Remender this. Or at least give him an editor that is willing to just cut crap out and slim things down.

I seriously have no idea what happened in half of this issue because of the constant drivel.

I think everyone died at the end… dunno… maybe… not likely though… so kind of waste of a cliffhanger…

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Uh, okay, wait, what?

Completely ignoring the cliffhanger of issue #5, Remender decides to give us a back story on Thor, Apocalypse, a Pharoah, and an Axe.

Way to kill the momentum there Remender.

I’m sure this long piece of rambling will be important later on in the overall scheme of things… but Remender really does need a good slap.

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Remender really does like to hear himself write… doesn’t he? Oh, and he needs a good slap.

Well, where to start? For one, I don’t care if Rogue is ‘taking Xavier’s death hard’, writing her like a little bitch is so not okay. Rogue has been through a lot of crap in her life, things that have effected her more than this, and she never was never this bitchy, not even when she left Gambit in Antarctica she wasn’t as bad as this. And Rogue would not be okay with just ‘sitting this out’, she was never one to shy away from her past and is proud of how far she has come. And the whole flirty thing with Alex… seriously? Did Remender not read any of X-Men Legacy?!?

Then you have the whole reducing Wanda into a love-triangle with Cap and Wonder Man. Really? I know that ‘randomly hooking up characters’ is kinda the hallmark of the soap opera that is the Marvel Universe… but is it really necessary right now, especially as there really hasn’t been a conclusion to Wanda/Vision yet. Yes, I don’t care for the paring but aren’t they technically still married?! Ugh. There is two women on this team (Janet just got there) and already they are fighting between each other and being reduced to ‘romantic fodder’.

To top things off, Wanda does get a few good lines and moments in there but they get ruined by her turning meek again. I can understand a level of insecurity after everything she did but, dunno, the way it’s portrayed just rubs me the wrong way.

The only decent thing that I’ve read in this title so far was the couple of pages bringing Sunfire back into the fold. That was actually pretty well done and was a great re-introduction of the character. Too bad almost nothing was done with it later and the character nearly forgotten for the rest of the issue.

But the thing that really got talked about in this issue is Alex’s desire to not hear anyone use the “m” word again. I can actually kinda understand this. True, it could be taken to mean that Alex is taking away the mutants identity which in a modern real world full of civil rights talk for certain groups seems like Alex is giving in to the hatred… but the world has a way of taking a term and turning it into something, as Alex puts it, divisive. Just think of all the words for a gay person, a black person, or females, that is no longer allowed to be said because they are divisive, words that originally had other meanings. Take the word ‘Oriental’ for example, those from East Asia and the Phillipines consider it a derogatory term.

If, in the X-Men universe, ‘mutant’ has come to gain a negative tone, and if it’s beyond salvaging, then perhaps Alex is right that individual mutants should be seen as individuals and not ‘mutants’.

I’m kind on the fence about this as I’m not totally sure what Remender is truly going for here, esp as, as far as I’ve read, mutant hasn’t been used as a derogatory term in other comics (at least not to the effect that would warrant such a change). But at least here I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt from a historical perspective in that words can gain whole other meanings and should stop being used.

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