X-Men: The (fan fic) Series

And it’s all gone to hell… almost literally.

Whoever’s been pulling the strings lately, causing the Sentinel attacks and general unrest, has decided it’s time to take out the major players by hijacking two high level mutants and a S.H.I.E.L.D. carrier. Bendis may have had to OOC some characters and ignore certain previous plot points, but he finally made it to his boss battle. Let’s see if it was worth it, though probably not.

Interesting though that Magneto found Dazzler, and even more interesting is the moment he has with Blob. Chalk this up as one instance where Bendis is doing things right. I suppose even a broken clock is right twice a day.

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Mystique, I know you’re the bad guy, but damn girl… that’s just cold.

Mystique’s first priority has always been herself with the exception of Irene, Rogue, and Nightcrawler, because those three give her uncomfortable feels. She’s also been loyal to the mutant cause, believing mutants to be superior to humans and the like… but to keep Dazzler in a coma, draining her blood to use to make the mutant power drug, solely for the money and a vindictive streak against Dazzler who she considers a traitor? This is a damn far low that I’m pretty sure Mystique would have never fallen to… but with Bendis writing, he doesn’t care.

And of course S.H.I.E.L.D. comes after Bond… it doesn’t take a prognostic to figure that one out. I’m hoping this is just some clever game Scott and Co are playing, otherwise this is one of the stupidest and hypocritical moves this team has ever made… which is saying a lot.

The part of this issue that I’m board with is that yes, everywhere mutants go, or superheroes in general, the place ends up wrecked. I hate to see what the insurance premiums are in 616…

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The alternate title for this issue is ‘let’s see how much emotional trauma to Cyclops we can pack into a single issue’.

This issue jumps all over the place both with  the storyline and the art. We have a lot of pick up, filling in the missing moments from the past in-universe days. This is what happens when you have the same writer writing two titles so intricately tied together. He’s treating Uncanny X-Men and All-New X-Men like one title rather than two separate. So when there is an event that effects one title, instead of just touching the other title, it actually throws a wrench in it.

There are a few gem moments, like where Scott tells his younger self to swear off all women. But mostly it’s just a mess of stuff trying to get us to feel sorry for Cyclops…

or something…

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Did I miss Irma dying her hair red? I know she mentioned it… oh well.

This issue throws you into the story much the way these kids are thrown into Tabula Rasa to fend for themselves as a ‘training exercise’. You know, some days I’m on Scott’s side, other days, I just want to smack him across the face. I understand that these guys need to learn how to protect themselves but, really, throwing them into Tabula Rasa like that without warning? Can we say overkill? Or maybe just ‘trying to get them killed’?

Then Scott goes and be’s the biggest hypocritical douche by kicking out Bond for making a mistake? Seriously? The dude learned his lesson, just like you learned your damn lesson, Scott. You suck.

Yet another case of mucking with Scott’s characterization in order to get the desired outcome. Blech.

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No one has more baggage than Magneto. I mean really, it’s amazing the man is still functional.

This issue is basically a prelude to the new Magneto solo. It sets him up to do, well, I’m not entirely sure. He’s already taken out Mystique’s operation, which was in the making for several issues going back to when she bought Madripoor from Hydra after using Lady Mastermind to rob all those banks. Magento doesn’t seem to believe in ‘mutant superiority’ anymore, at least like he used to. He seems to have finally gotten on board with Xavier’s ‘co-existence’ stance even though that’s giving him some uncomfortable feels.

But we haven’t completely lost our old Magneto, he’s still as tough and deadly as ever. The way he just puts the smack down on everyone is very old school. It will be interesting to see his character development over his solo series where we see just how badly Xavier’s death (and the possible death of Wanda depending on how UA turns out) affects him. We know he wants to protect mutants and recognizes his ‘old ways’ were not the right way, so what exactly will be his new plan of attack?

I also want to take a moment to once again applaud Mystique. Bendis doesn’t always get the characterization right, but when he does, it’s pretty brilliant to see. The way she manipulates him when she’s Dazzler, it’s just delicious. I hope we see more of her, once she’s recovered from being stabbed in the back, but that’s only a flesh wound.

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There is such thing as trying too hard not to be sexist.

People have to go shopping, especially when they literally have nothing but the clothes on their back to their name. Toiletries, underwear, I mean, I know comic book character never seem to change their clothes but realistically they need these things. There is also another thing called cabin fever, something that is especially troublesome in cold, desolate, areas. You don’t need a whole page of “don’t judge us, we are strong, independent women, but we need to go shopping” when both the need of basic items and cabin fever affect both genders and could easily be explained away as such in a quarter of the space. Writing that whole ‘don’t judge us excuse’ is basically Bendis not wanting to be called sexist for sending the girls shopping because, apparently, he thought it was an inherently sexist thing they were doing.

So it’s less of a ‘i’m not sexist’ and more ‘i’m sexist and don’t want to get called out’ kind of moment.

As for the story, this is a tie-in to the new Inhumanity arc going on right now. Inhumans are getting the spotlight because Marvel still owns the movie rights to them and likely will try to use them to make up for the lack of mutants in the MCU. So we’re treated to the discovery of a new Inhuman with some incredibly powerful abilities. He takes out all the X-girls and then gets carted off by people’s unknown (though maybe they are known, I haven’t been reading the Inhumanity arc).

Will this have any impact on the future of our team? Probably not, but as filler issues go, it’s decent once you get past the first part.

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Emma Frost hasn’t lost her touch but Scott Summers is still a bit of a jerk.

While Scott is right, they all need to learn self-defense and stuff, he’s not actually the nicest of teachers about it. It’s all a little too paramilitary and he’s doing his reputation no favors. Emma, on the other hand, is downright sneaky and manipulative. She knows there is something more to Ben’s powers and she was going to get it out of him one way or another. 

The hard thing about creating new characters that are mutants is coming up with new powers. Ideally, you want stuff that hasn’t been done before to make them unique. Ben is a ‘transmorph’ or some such. He takes on a pleasing, safe, image and gives off some kind of chemical hormone which together makes people like him. It’s like Gambit’s ‘charm’ ability, or a ‘reverse empathy’ ability, only it has a physical aspect. It’s kinda cool and allows the artists to have a little fun with the whole thing.

Ben is also gay, something we learn in this issue, and it’s treated quite well. Emma just wants him to work on his powers, she couldn’t care less about his sexual preferences as it doesn’t define him as a mutant. And since mutants can easily be used as an analogue for homosexuals, the parallels are there. It’s also good to be learning more about these new characters, it allows us to get invested in them.

I just hope we’re not getting invested in them just to see them get killed off later down the line.

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Um, does Bendis even read his own comics?

Seriously, in the first few pages he has Hill just finding out about this time travel stuff and not wanting the Avengers to find out, when they already know and apparently didn’t report it and also the time travel stuff is WAY overdue to be discovered. But even moreso, the interaction between the Cuckoo’s and Jean… they already had their show down before and now it’s like that never happened? I was kinda confused…

And the rest of the issue was just a lot complaining about whether or not the kids should go back or if they should make their own choices. I can understand Rachel being pro-let them do what they want since she did the same thing, but Kitty, dunno. I guess I can see it but at the same time it’s a little forced. Dunno. She’s right though, the future people need to give them more info than just ‘trust us’ cause, well, it’s always a two way street.

I like Emma and Magneto calling it as they see it with Scott thinking with his ‘other brain’ regarding the kids. I don’t know if that’s strictly speaking true. Scott’s reasoning for a lot of things hasn’t been standardized, whether he blames himself, or Phoenix, or a bit of both, for everything that’s happened and he’s done… so he could really have a pro-individual choice mantra going on in his ‘upper brain’.

But the question no one seems to be asking, is this: If the kids stay, then they will never have done anything that they have done, which means that their older versions should vanish and the world drastically change, for either good or bad. So if that hasn’t happened… then that means they do go home? Seriously guys, this is Time Travel 101…

p.s. that ending was total fan service but at least they recognized it as such

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